How can....

I understand that you have a bf, i'm probably just a spare for u at this moment...but i sincerely cares for you and treats you, i don't know mayb not good enough for you?? But can u atleast pay some attention to me? I ask you that day, have you got home??? And u didn't reply me but after 3 hour u message bout u felt guilty of ur bf.....fine, u said u wanna to shared something with me rite, its k...but after tat i msg u once in the morning telling u to least msg me when u got to png, another once in nite when i wished u nitez, till now, theres no reply what so ever, but then u showed up right in front of me in SP which is to be the second day ur in png....whats that?? huh?! u give me a laugh oni, ur bf so fucked up that u can't greet ur FRIEND is it??? i AM WORRIED SICK, SO SICK I LITTERALY GET SICK, worried whether ur home in sp d or not, worried whether u arrive penang safely d? Yet after that u msg me what? another past-message-not-important-message telling me u didnt have charger, so bad luck, DO U ATLEAST KNOW HOW I FELT JUST NOW??! i was told to believed ur in png, but no ur in sp......but why u should tell me rite?

But still i'm sure u'll think what am i worrying bout? i overrated stuff, i think too much, maybe, but still...i realli believe so much in you and me, i realli believe that kiss isn't just a kiss, i realli believe those caring aren't just caring, i realli believe we had something goin on.....i'm just too fed up...i've had so many downs no ups or whatsoever lately, i can't find any reason u'll left a 3 year relationship that you have with a guy so fucked up he beat u in front of everyone and make u cry like hell, to a ordinary guy that like you at the first moment and cared for you for just 4 months.....i realli don't know...but still, i'm ready for the worst, your right, its totally selfish that i called you to wait for me if i gone to Aussie, so if ur not ready for that i totally understand.....but i'll still be here, waiting for your Yes or No and i promise to wont commit to anyone else or whatsoever, thats just how i am, i still love you, i trust u oso love me....just can you at least let me think what are you thinking realli??